…but one no one really wants to have to deal with.
We've all been there; the guy or girl you’re dating just goes quiet. No explanation. No contact. No nothing.
The term ‘ghosting’ is being used more frequently but is in face relatively new – ‘ghosting’ is a new verb that refers to ending a romantic relationship by cutting off all contact and ignoring all attempts of contact.
A recent survey found that from 185 people that approximately 14% of men and 27% of women had been ghosts at some point in their lives.
This phenomenon isn't new - prehistoric daters sat by their phones (those attached to the wall) waiting for their romantic interests to call, and assumed that call must have come when he or she was out of the house. But in an era of dating apps like Tinder and OKCupid when matchmaking often happens by swiping right and left makes potential daters literally disposable so ghosting has become much more common.
The Ease Of App's And Online Dating Has Allowed Ghosting To Take A New Form
Logan Levkoff, sexologist and expert from shows like "Married At First Sight" explained that online dating and apps take the humanity out of the process a bit, which could make users prone to being ghosted. "[Because] all it takes is a swipe," she said. "The quantity [of how many people experience ghosting] is more because it's so easy to do and it requires very little human engagement in order to do it."
Because Breaking Up Is Hard
We don’t actually like it - a study done in 2012 reported that there are seven types of breakup strategies with confrontation being ‘the best way to breakup’, and ghosting the least ideal method to end a relationship. A more recent study reported the same finding suggesting we still feel the same. Only 13% of 1,000 adults consider breaking up electronically ‘very appropriate’ or ‘somewhat appropriate’.
So Why Are So Many People Experiencing ‘Ghosting’?
Our feelings change about a lot of things... about a band, about a food, about certain things you thought were fun that you don’t think are fun anymore and it’s ok for this to happen in a relationship but be a grown up about it.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Levkoff said that it’s nice to be able to say to someone, 'Listen I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I don't think this is going to move forward in a romantic way,' because you’re being up front and honest to them and yourself. Would you want to be left staring at your phone for the next fortnight wondering if you’ve done something wrong?
Is Ghosting Morally Wrong?
Yes, lack of response from someone you like feels rubbish! It's a cowardly move.
What We Think
Ghosting – it’s actually just rudeness dressed up
It seems even celebrities the last people who you’d think could slip away aren’t immune to getting ghosted. Reports suggest Charlize Theron broke up with Sean Penn recently by ghosting him - and they were actually engaged to be married - friends say she thought it was the simplest solution to stop responding to his calls!
What The Experts Say
It’s not you, it’s them - time is better spent moving on to the next.
Have you ever experienced ‘ghosting’ or have you been the ‘ghost’?
Experiencing it right now, as well as been the ghoster.. Best way to break out of something that ain't right. Still hurts though x
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