Compatibility Test - Should You Do It?

Guest Blogger: Katy Miller

Online dating sites work by algorithm. Developed over the decades, the algorithm takes the information you have provided (hobbies, music tastes, turn-ons etc.) and uses clever mathematical ways to pull up your closest matches. Ok, so it’s not Hollywood romance, ‘love at first sight,’ but it makes sense that in this ever expanding digital world where we can now connect with literally millions of people, that we’d need a ‘digital friendly’ way of finding love. Algorithms offer a quick way to narrow down your options and give you the best chance to find someone you might like.

But once you’ve found that person online and you’ve dated for a while – do our own inner algorithms stop working? Are we constantly assessing our partner and seeing how they match up to our ideals? This thought had not crossed my mind until over the weekend, when my Boyfriend (who I met online), thought it would be fun to do a ‘compatibility test’. Its idea was to see if you followed the same sorts of relationship ethics and overall make you question how well you work together as a pair.

Was It Useful?

Some questions were; they made us think about some really nice parts of our relationship…

What is the most special memory of us that you hold?

How would you want to spend a special day with each other? (We went for a day at the seaside…)

Questions like this were really positive and made us feel pretty smug! But then it got a bit more delving and asked questions that I had never even considered…

If he/she cheated on you, could you ever forgive?

What do you define as cheating?

And this made us have that conversation, which then felt very much like laying down the rules. Flirting’s ok, as long as it’s without intention, anything physical is not ok. But could we forgive? Maybe, if we had children further down the line …. What?! Why are we talking about children!

And then came even MORE serious questions...

How should finances be planned between a couple? (umm I’ll buy the cake??)

Would you lie to make your partner happy and where would you draw the line?

And before we knew it we were having a full blown conversation about future bank accounts, how many children we want, whether we think we’d be good parents and so on. So what started as a fun little quiz ended up in a sort of 6 month review of where we’re at and where we’re going. Wow.

Should Every Couple Do It?

Couples who meet online tend to be more open about questions like this, because in a sense they’ve already answered them when initially starting their search. It was good for us to do because the ultimate outcome was that we both have the same ‘relationship ethics’ and are on the same page when it comes to ‘the future.’

This isn’t something to do in the first couple of months of a blossoming relationship; but I will say this...it’s important to make sure that your ideas and views on relationships are similar. Hopefully, through online dating those requirements will already have been met by those clever little algorithms, but it might be worth having a sit down and thinking about these questions together before you become 'facebook official'…

For the full test, click here >>