Often, our online persona can be full of banter and confidence. However, transferring this into a real life interaction takes courage and this, understandably, means that we sometimes avoid meeting face to face.
When I interviewed Emma Kenny recently in London, we chatted about dating for Flirtify’s recent blog 'The Dating Game' - naturally you can’t talk about dating without sharing a story or two, so that's just what we did. We talked about our own experiences, our mishaps, our embarrassing moments and the confidence it takes to date. I didn't think much about it until this appeared in my inbox a few days later...
Emma's advice: Fake it till you make it!
Here is what she had to say: Online dating is something that more and more of us are using in a bid to meet our perfect match but, for many of us, moving from sitting in front of our screens to sitting in front of an actual person can feel daunting.
Acting confidently by smiling, having an open body posture, making eye contact, asking questions and being interested in your date will make you appear confident. What’s more, the way we appear makes others reflect that behaviour, thereby reinforcing our confident and engaging behaviour. It won’t take long before feeling confident becomes second nature.
Make an effort in your choice of outfit because, if you look good, you will automatically feel better about meeting someone new. Turning up in a sharp suit or a gorgeous new dress will give you a confidence boost and, even better, you will look fantastic too.
Nerves and excitement are the same feeling – it’s just that one is experienced negatively and the other positively. Instead of allowing the nerves to get the better of you, re frame any anxious feelings into excitement and put yourself in a positive frame of mind. I promise - the results will amaze you
Adopt a ‘so what?’ attitude! So many of us worry about our date not liking us that it knocks our confidence. The truth is, however, that every failed date is simply a date closer to finding your perfect match. Instead of feeling let down, rejected and dejected when dates don’t work out, give yourself a pat on the back for being in the game and know you are one step closer to finding ‘the one’.
When you arrange to meet up, make sure it’s somewhere that feels comfortable. Ideally, agree to do something such as meeting for coffee and cake. This kind of interaction is less intimidating and means there is not an expectation to spend an entire evening together if things are not going so well! Of course, if things are going swimmingly, you can always extend the date however you fancy.
Remember that your date is probably feeling exactly the same as you! We often become a little introspective when we are in new situations and its fine to acknowledge this. If you find yourself stuck for words, or jabbering on about nothing, then stop, take a deep breath and simply tell your date you are a bit nervous - chances are they will tell you they feel exactly the same.
Taking positive risks increases self-confidence! The more risks we take, the more successful our lives tend to be. Going on a date can feel risky, but ultimately the confidence you will gain from feeling the fear and doing it anyway is well worth the reward.
And who knows Emma, we may receive the ultimate reward and meet someone special!
Are you ready to take Emma's advice and embrace thosefirst date jitters? Don't waste another moment, go to Flirtify now x
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