The Not So Secret World Of Tinder

“People become commodities and you order them much like you would your Chinese takeaway on a Friday night”

- Becky Lomax, producer & director of The Secret World Of Tinder

 



Pete poised ready for Puppy Play

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did you see it? Last night a documentary aired on Channel 4 exploring how dating apps have transformed the modern world of love & lust. From puppy play to a guy regarded as a "legend" for sleeping with over 100 women… we were given an insight into what goes on after you swipe right.

The odd,

No doubt about it, online dating increases the opportunity to meet new people and the more recherché your sexual tastes, the more useful these apps are likely to be. The show featured several members sharing details of some of the most extreme and downright disturbing messages they've received as well as explaining some of the wacky dates they've had as a result.

This includes a woman who is aroused by men REVERSING a car! Explaining the date, Chris says: "This girl was aroused by the act of a man reversing a car. I said, 'Are you OK?' and she said, 'I don't know how to tell you this but I really get excited when a bloke puts his arm around the headrest and reverses.’

Then (our favourite bit) she started saying, 'Reverse for me, reverse for me, Chris, reverse.' I was going round the block like a nutter."

We should add this is from a guy who claims to have asked out 15,000 women on dating apps though. And just one person face-to-face!

There is also the girl who received a message saying ‘I want to smear you in green paint and spank you like a disobedient avocado.’ – just how disobedient can an avocado be?!

What’s the oddest message you’ve ever received?

the specialist...

Now, we’ve encountered a fetish or two, but Apps like Recon are for the more specialists, shall we say! Cue Pete (pictured above) - Pete lives with his long-term boyfriend but likes something a little alternative when it comes to the action between the sheets.

The couple agreed at the very beginning that their relationship would not be monogamous so they could explore their likes and dislikes with other people. For example ‘puppy play’, which is pretty much what it sounds like - dressing in leather and acting like a puppy with another person.

‘It’s for gay men who have specific fetishes,’ explains Becky. ‘There’s something like 16 sub-categories for men who are into leather, maybe uniforms, fighting, wrestling and more… whatever their niche fetish is, there’s a category for it. Well we never, 16!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We also meet Joanna, a young single mum living in suburban Surrey who doesn’t hind her intentions. After a failed heterosexual marriage, she is on the hunt for women looking for a no-strings kind of relationship, AKA polyamorous. She describes the apps as a ‘godsend’ and says, ‘apps have been especially useful for gay people in general. I think it’s a way of connecting with people that’s easier than if you went up to someone on the street.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And there's Jack, 23 (above), who loves to go out with his pal, meeting groups of other guys. He even admits it now seems "bizarre" to go on a date one-on-one.

...and the downright dangerous

Whatever your likes, dislikes or intentions you must put your safety first… dating apps do have a darker side!

One single man we meet has a second app, one he calls his ‘vault’ and it contains nearly 700 photographs of women he’s met online!

Dating apps generally recommend that when you’re ready to meet someone you meet online in a public place, perhaps over coffee. This is advice Becca, a young single mum didn’t follow.  She naively invited this guy to her house after having only messaged him on the app they were using. The atmosphere she says changed almost as soon as he arrived - luckily, she’d had the foresight to ask a friend to check up on her and he was able to convince the guy to leave without anything going any further.

So what does it mean for the future of dating…?

This documentary captures the funny and heart-warming situations online dating can bring. Yes there are darker sides but with 1 in 5 modern relationships said to now begin online, there’s clearly some lovely people out there using online dating to find someone special.

Be up front about what you’re looking for. Consider how you speak to people – just because you’re not face to face, it doesn’t mean that manners go out the window!

And, no matter how you arrange to meet up, or whichever app you use, there’s just no substitute for good old-fashioned CHEMISTRY!

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