What To Do When Your Friend is Going Through a Break-Up...

We’ve all been there. We know how awful break-ups are and we tend to fall into two camps when dealing with them....

1) Hibernation – Some of us sit in our onesies, eating ice-cream and watching friends episodes until we feel ready to face the outside world again. Talking to anyone (including friends and family), just reminds us that there are happy and loved up people in the world and we will never be one of them. Cue thoughts of, ‘I’ll be alone forever with just my cats to keep me company).

2) Constant Company – ah this is awful to say, but sometimes when our friends are going through break-ups they require constant care and attention. Obviously, we’re there for them and always will be, but 2.00am phone calls 3 months after the break-up can soon become a little….testing.

So What Can We Do?

Well, firstly find out which camp your friend falls into. It’ll be obvious; those who've been M.I.A are number 1, and those crying into your duvet cover are probably a firm number 2.

The Missing Friend

Rescue them immediately. A day by their own is fine, they need some space. If there’s no word for more than 2, get yourselves over to their den of tissues and tears quickly. Take a bottle of wine and your most sympathetic ears – they need someone they can open up too. Give them all of your time; friendships are a two way thing, but for this evening your friend doesn’t need to hear about how wonderful your life is. Let them talk/cry/be silent, whatever it is, just make sure you’re there with them.

The Needy Friend

Sorry kids, you just have to put up with those late night drunken calls, and sad faces that no amount of witty jokes will get rid of. It takes time to recover from a break-up, and in this time of need it’s our friends we go to.

What you CAN do is read our 'How to Get Over a Breakup' post and get a few ideas on how to speed up the recovery process…

What Not to Do

We’d advise against the whole, ‘you were too good for them anyway,’ ‘they don’t deserve you,’ etc. This couple at one stage were fond of each – so phrases like the above won’t apply to, or be useful to, someone who is still deeply in love.

Instead concentrate on the future. They need to use that experience and that history to make themselves stronger. They need to be sad and then they need to move forward. Even though their partner has gone; their friends, their family and their lives are still intact. Bake them a cake, make them dinner, give them a framed photo! Anything to make them know that you still love them.

And most importantly, remind them that eventually things will get better.

 

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